Sh*t Beach: ‘crap’ new seaside attraction in town
Lauren Saunders takes a deep dive
2 August 2024
HAPPY to spend a lazy weekend beachcombing for dirty nappies? Planning to drop the kids off at the rockpool to fish for E.coli and hepatitis? Are you sure that’s chocolate ice cream in your cone? And who needs sunscreen when you’ve got sh*tscreen to block out the harmful UV rays?
If so, we know exactly where you want to be – Sh*t Beach!
BULLETIN
National Friends of the Earth recently released a ‘news’ bulletin on YouTube about the success of a new British seaside attraction called Sh*t Beach. In the slot, presented by comedian Nish Kumar, a roving reporter explores a seaside town’s attempt to embrace the new reality of a sewage-ridden beach and discovers – amongst other things – sh*te amusements and tourists wearing hazmat suits who can ‘rent-a-bog’ instead of deck chairs.
After learning of the success of Sh*t Beach, Hull and East Riding FoE (HERFOE) are pleased to announce we are hosting a tourist information day to signpost locals to our own sh*tty waterways!
POP UP
Pop along to Victoria Square on Saturday 17 August 2024 between 11am and 4pm and visit our Sh*t Beach tourist information booth to learn more about our own Sh*t Beaches and water pollution through fun activities, sh*te games and not-so-crappy conversation. And thanks to our new Creative Volunteer network, we’ve even got some class acts performing!
SCANDALOUS
Sh*t Beach’ is a new campaign to build conversations around water pollution in our seas and rivers, because, as we’ve heard countless scandalous reports coming in from across the country… our waterways are awash with pollution.
A trip to the seaside is now more likely to serve up a stench of sewage than the nostalgic waft of paper-wrapped chips. And there’s a higher chance of spotting brown foam on a riverside walk, instead of otters and kingfishers.
We urgently need to enshrine the right to a healthy environment in UK law, to give communities the power to take back their local seas and beaches, to hold polluters to account, and ensure this never happens again.
SPOOF
So at our (spoof) tourist information beach, we’ll also be gathering signatures for a record of public support for a new Environmental Rights Act (ERA) to enshrine our legal right (and the right of other living beings) to a healthy environment in law and help ensure pollution is acted on. What’s more:
An Environmental Rights Act would prevent the government from making any new laws that allow water pollution – for example, the current legislation that permits water companies to let sewage into the sea during storms – and would bolster laws proposed right now that would hold water companies to account
Public bodies (like water companies) would have to act in ways compatible with rights. This means they would have a new legal responsibility requiring them to change how they deal with sewage so that it cannot flood beaches. As a regulatory public body, the Environment Agency would also have to take stronger action to fix Sh*t Beaches and warn people about the risks rather than simply reporting on the declining situation.
Residents living in places plagued by sewage (like Sh*t Beach) could exercise their human right to a healthy environment, access enhanced information about the sewage and challenge both polluting companies and the regulators that fail to police them in the courts.
Friends of the Earth’s Sh*t Beach video is a spoof, but based on the latest shocking sewage stats, it could be a taste of what’s to come if the government doesn’t force water companies to clean up their act.
SEWAGE SPILLAGES
New analysis from Friends of the Earth reveals that 815 hours’ worth of sewage were spilled in the East Riding of Yorkshire by Yorkshire Water across 417 self-reported spills. This equates to five weeks solid of pumping sewage out. An eye-watering 388 hours’ worth of sewage were spilt within 3km of Bridlington North and South beaches alone (and which we’ve generously treated as one beach because they are so close). There were 51 ‘No bathing due to pollution’ warnings in 2023 across our local beaches, with 5 ‘No bathing due to sewage’ warnings.
If we go a bit further North to our much-visited neighbours in Scarborough it’s even worse. Much worse. There were 2,322 hours of sewage spilled across 440 spills (again self-reported by Yorkshire Water), equating to 14 weeks solid of pumping out sh*t. Yet this somehow only resulted in “just” 49 ‘No bathing due to pollution’ warnings and only 1 ‘No bathing due to sewage’ warning. Of these astronomical hours, 1,690 were spilled into North Bay beach alone.
ANALYSIS
Nearly half a million hours of sewage was dumped along England’s coastlines last year, new analysis by Friends of the Earth (FoE) reveals. Over a quarter was dumped within 3km of bathing waters, FoE found.
Using the latest Environment Agency sewage overflow figures from 2023, FoE’s data scientists calculated the number and duration of sewage discharges directly into the sea and within the vicinity of bathing waters. This was then cross-referenced with pollution warnings for each site given by the Environment Agency last year.
LIFE FORCE
Water is the life force that every living being on this planet needs to survive. Our shared coastal and riverside communities need to know the water we live beside is clean and healthy, especially as we are at such high risk of flooding in our area. If sh*t were to hit the fan here again, what would you prefer to be swimming in?
We need to answer nature’s call, work together to support our waters and put pressure on government and water companies to clean up their acts. No longer must they be able to pollute with impunity!
TAKE ACTION NOW:
Sign the petition: action.friendsoftheearth.uk/petition/add-your-name-secure-right-to-safe-waters
Come along and enjoy our Sh*t Beach Tourist Information Day on 17 August in Victoria Square, Hull city centre, from 11am to 4pm. Volunteers welcome.
And tell everyone you know!